Nostalgia

2008, when I still knew how to play chess

🎶Now you’re telling me, you’re not nostalgic. Well, give me another word for it, you, who are so good with words, and at keeping things vague.🎶

- Joan Baez, Diamonds and Rust (a song about her relationship with Bob Dylan)

Welcome, new subscribers, to Chess Therapy. A special thank you, not so much with a cherry on top, but with a protected passed pawn, to those trusting souls who decided to become paid subscribers. My gratitude to Audie, Simon, Chad, Robert, and a few other discerning individuals with impeccable taste and judgment.

I mentioned that I would be doing some of my own chess therapy here, so part of me wants to share my analysis of a game I lost in the London League last week in May 2025, also known as the present. I can’t quite face the real-game analysis yet, though. Correcting myself with computer insight in algebraic notation with chess symbols, including ?! and ? and ??, still feels like a portal to another realm that might swallow me whole. I’ll get there, but for now, the quick version in plain language is this:

I made the mistake of playing a main line Russian system (5Qb3) against the Grunfeld while playing a weaker player (c2350) whom I knew from a previous game would be better-prepared (he produced a novelty on what felt like move 136). I confess that I still appear to have trace elements of arrogance (from back in the day, when I was good). So I slightly sneered at his opening idea and went into a misplaced punishment mode, wilfully underestimated the validity of his idea to trade a centre pawn for keeping my king in the centre; I have always struggled to evaluate my king's safety correctly - I tend to think: “Nah, it will be fine…”. I navigated the complications well, achieved a good, if precarious, position. Then, when it was still unclear, I had a jolt of optimism, decided to take my king for an unnecessary walk, and blundered into a much worse double rook endgame. I quickly made a cheeky draw offer, but he declined (no respect!). He played the ending well too, alas, and I was soon dead lost. Then, curiously, I remembered I am a Grandmaster, put the pressure back on him and almost completely recovered into a theoretically drawn rook endgame, then couldn’t quite believe my newfound luck, momentarily disassociated, blundered, had to resign, and headed out into the night, home on the district line, feeling mostly bemused. On return, I played through the game in the best analogue style, with a small(ish) Talisker whisky not so much to drown my sorrows, but to burn them.

No, I’m fine, really, thanks for asking.

I will get to that analysis, because we have to do the work, and I intend to lead by example, but with the working week about to begin, and feeling a bit tired from putting a Gazebo up in the garden today (Sunday), I’ve decided to share something happier, even nostalgic.

2008 (also known as the past) was the last year I was a proper chess player, by which I mean dedicated enough to prepare thoroughly, set aside the rest of my life while playing, and give 100% energy and concentration at the board. I had other things going on in my life, but the following two videos show my younger self giving a short lecture, where you can see that my passion for chess was total.

The video was recorded in windy seaside conditions at the chess festival, Capo d’Orso in Porto Mannu, Sardinia, and there are periodic bumps due to the Italian translations being removed, but hopefully you can still enjoy the recordings, taken by Peter Doggers for what was then Chess Vibes. The source material in both cases is mostly from the book Secrets of Spectacular Chess by Jonathan Levitt and David Friedgood.

Anyway, that tournament was one of a few where I popped up over 2600, in this case before drawing the final round to secure tournament victory, and I am not sure I was ever stronger than around then.

The remainder of this post asks the question of what people see when they see a chess tournament, and I alight on a line that I think might be worth reading twice:

I see a diverse subculture that values beauty and truth while upholding the rule of law.